L.O.V.E… A word that means so much to some and almost nothing to others. We hear about it all the time through songs, poetry, books, television, and on social media. But, is there more to it than just those four letters?
Well, for those who believe in love, I’m sure they’ll agree that those letters must be used with fidelity.
Over twenty years ago, Dr. Gary Chapman created a book series known as, The 5 Love Languages. He targeted five components that individuals should pretty much consider when in a relationship. These components define the type of love that the individual may desire. The list of the five love languages are as follows: words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch.
Now, it would be a bit much to speak broadly and claim that one is more important than the other, because everyone is entitled to their own opinions. So, let’s just decode what each love language possibly means.
- Words of Affirmation: This almost seems like the first step in the five love languages, because someone has to actually tell us that they love us in the first place. However, anyone who requires words of affirmation from his or hers partner may need consistent reassurance that they’re loved. This type of love demand may require their partners to express their emotions on a more extended level, so that they never have to question the loyalty of their lover. Or maybe a simple flattering compliment or sincere “I love you”, may be enough. Now, this doesn’t mean that the person is insecure, it’s merely something that fills them with joy.
- Quality Time: “QT” is super essential in any relationship. After all, this is how bonds grow stronger. So, I’m sure many of us can agree that it should be one of everyone’s love languages. Whether we’re being wined and dined, or taking a romantic stroll on the beach these moments are meant to bring us closer in relationships. Women and men who are advocates for quality time will set dates, cancel meetings, and even ditch other tasks just to be with that special someone. When it comes to quality time the only “wrong” way to do it; is to not do it at all. And anyone in a healthy relationship knows that quality time must happen.
- Receiving Gifts: Now for some people this one may seem a bit… complex. Why? Because they’re probably thinking that anyone whose love language is based on receiving gifts, must be materialistic and expensive. Yes, there are women and men who enjoy the finer things in life, but some are warm-hearted by the thought put into the gift. For instance, instead of your husband going out and buying a new bag for your anniversary you may prefer a keepsake that will never get old. It maybe something that reminds you of how beautiful your marriage is, and although a new Chanel bag would be nice, it’s not going to do that. A woman may surprise her husband with his favorite brand of boxers and that may make his day. Or maybe you’re a good listener and you overheard your lover complaining about a backache and you decide to give him or her a gift card to the spa, that’s a thoughtful gift. Either way everyone wants to feel appreciated in some way so, if your lover wants gifts, put your heart in whatever it is you’re giving.
- Acts of Service: Acts of service refers to more showing than telling. If this is your love language, you like to see your partner in action. It could be as simple as them offering to massage your back. Or if you and your partner have a family, sometimes you may want him to step up and help take care of certain things around the house. In many cases service is something voluntarily done. There are possibly times where you want your partner to do something, but you keep quiet, because you feel you shouldn’t have to mention it. Acts of service could refer to your lover helping you out of a situation or even simply being there when you need him or her. Either way you want to see these actions being done.
- Physical Touch: To be honest, physical touch is probably a language that more than few of us speak. We need it. We want it. And of course, it feels good! It’s not all sexual, although it eventually leads to that. If one of your love languages is physical touch, you loan for intimacy with your partner. It can be through simply rubbing your partner’s shoulder, kissing him or her, hugging, or just the touch of his or her’s hand. In the end we all want our partners to make us feel things we’ve never felt before, so, if physical touch is your love language be sure to speak it fluently.
With all that being said L.O.V.E. needs to be nurtured and what better way to do it than to consider your love languages? You may only relate to two, or possibly all five of them. But, just make sure that you communicate these languages with your partner. I hope that you have a beautiful fall and winter season, cuddling, talking with, and exchanging gifts with your boo! Keep love alive and understand the way you and your partner want to be loved.