Comradery vs. Competition: Let’s Talk About It!


“Other women are not my competition I stand WITH them not against them.”

Somewhere we as women dropped the ball among each other. Maybe it was around the time they divided us into light skin vs. dark skin women or maybe it was around the time when some women decided on natural and some decided on extensions. Whatever the case may be it is very clear that there is a division between the women of color. Why is it that women of color see each other as competition more than anything else? This has been an epidemic that has not gotten any better over the years, sadly comparing the present to the past, this subject seems as though it has gotten worse.

Just for a second let’s take it back to The Color Purple when Shug Avery sang to Celie “Sista you been on my mind, oh sista we’re two of a kind”… as old as this movie may be it’s still a very classic example of sisterhood. One woman lifting another up without hesitation in her time of need. As you know in the movie Shug Avery and Celie were very different. Different backgrounds, different lifestyles yet they still shared common life situations which made them “two of a kind.” Well, in all honesty it was with hesitation at first but once guards were slightly let down there was room to build each other up. This is the very thing women do to this day yet we stop at our guards being up. We are so comfortable with our A1 Day 1’s and yelling no new friends that we are missing out on other women who could add so much value to our life.
Miss Celie Blues Song

Seeing each other as competition has always been the downfall for women of color. You do not see this among other races as you do in the black community. As a woman of color myself I have been guilty of this, and if we are going to be honest with ourselves most of us are or have been also guilty of this same thing. But the same question comes back around as to WHY? There really is no reason we should view anyone aside of our own selves as competition. The only competition is the mirror’s reflection. Now, am I saying let’s all hold hands and sing coombaya? No I’m not, I know life doesn’t work like that. But what I do know is all it takes is a second to attempt to kill the competition vibes. It’s almost cliché to say this but the phrase “Be the good you want to see in the world” is validated at this very moment. Let me give you an example, have you ever walked into a room full of women and you can feel the energy is off because you don’t know each other? How do you break the ice with a group of women you don’t know? A genuine compliment.

I have learned that a compliment opens up a conversation that leads into something you may need to hear for someone else, receive, or something yourself may need to say. IF women chose honesty and transparency for more than the A1D1’s there would be so much healing and wisdom flourishing throughout our community. But, we choose to stay guarded suffocating wisdom that’s meant to bless the next woman! When we understand what we grow through is not even for us, it’s for the next person to be encouraged, we will then understand what sisterhood really is! A community of women inspiring, encouraging, and uplifting each other because they were bold enough to share their stories.

A Sista’s Vibe is a perfect example of women of color coming together providing a fresh twist on comradery. A Sista’s Vibe is a community that was created to encourage, uplift, inspire, empower, promote healing and inspiration to all women but mainly women of color to form a sisterhood that can not be easily broken. You can follow them on Facebook or Instagram @ASistasVibe. It’s time to switch the game up and come together! Are you with me sis?

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